Best gay movies 2018
“I cut myself on the arms and legs because I felt I had no control over myself. She said: “I was in a holding camp bathroom and literally wanted to scream so loud, I put the tap on to dull my tears. This downward turn led her to cut herself with scissors before the World Championships in France in 2003. “I’d think, ‘No one talks about it in the sport, how do I suddenly say I’m gay? I can’t because I’m admitting that I broke the law in the Army’.” She said: “When I got injured or ill I would cry all the time because all I needed to do was get back running, because if I didn’t get back running my brain was just going mad,” she says. But by the time she turned 33 in 2003, she suffered from a number of injuries, which led to a decline in her mental health. Kelly, who still lives in her home county of Kent, dated a woman from the age of 27 to 32, but ended the relationship in 2002 to focus on the Olympics. She said: “I was in bits about telling them. “How can who you feel connected with affect whether you can fire a weapon, be on the front line, take a physical training instructor class?”ĭame Kelly came out to her family in person in 1997 and said they were supportive. “Those moments stuck with me because I didn’t want to lose my job, I loved it. You feel violated, treated like you’re some massive villain. “It’s humiliating, it’s degrading – it feels disrespectful when you’re serving your country and you’re doing a good job. She said: “They pulled everything out of your cupboard, turned out the beds and drawers, read letters – everything – trying to catch us out, so we could be arrested, court martialled and potentially go to jail. Kelly was 23 when her quarters were searched by Royal Military Police in a check which she believed was to root out secret lesbians.
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You could be yourself, then come back to your barracks.” She added: “There was this pub that had a back dance floor and a pool table and everyone we knew was gay used to go to this place.
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She added all her comrades knew who was gay and who wasn’t, but would never talk about it. Her time in the military was a much different era, the punitive measures taken against gay soldiers led to a culture of silence. She said: “I come back from the Olympics and stand on a bus with two gold medals for my country - and all I’m thinking is, ‘What if somebody says something…that I had relationships with women when I was in the Army? I was living in fear.” She said that the more famous she became, it made it even more difficult to come out. Her heroics on the track gave her a celebrity status, leading to an open top bus tour, becoming the face of Team GB and her damehood. (Image: Sunday Mirror)ĭame Kelly became arguably one of the biggest names in GB athletics after brilliantly clinching gold medals in the 800 and 1,500m at the Athens Olympics in 2004. “They haven’t been in this fearful world with me for 34 years” she added.ĭame Kelly Holmes has come out as gay. She also said that as a result, her previous partners were ‘only a small part of her life’. Dame Kelly now has a partner and, while she did not want to release further details, said it was the first time she has had someone in her life who she doesn’t need to “introduce as a PA or friend.” Her family and friends she was close to have known her sexual orientation for years. Dame Kelly added: "I was convinced throughout my whole life that if I admitted to being gay in the Army I’d still be in trouble.” She was even concerned that she might face retrospective action for breaching forces rules today. The moment this comes out, I’m essentially getting rid of that fear.” I feel like I’m going to explode with excitement. But a brush with Covid-19 made her realise that she was ready to share her truth with the world.ĭame Kelly said: "I needed to do this now, for me.
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This, in turn, triggered breakdowns, bouts of self harm and left her feeling suicidal. READ MORE: 'At my lowest I ended up on a motorway bridge, wanting to end it all' says former homeless woman In a touching interview, she said: “There have been lots of dark times where I wished I could scream that I am gay - but I couldn’t.” The former middle distance runner said she realised she was gay when she kissed another serving female soldier at the age of 17.īut fear of being persecuted during the time when gay people were barred from serving in the military - her own barracks were raided for proof of same sex relationships - led her to bottle things up. The sporting superstar decided to make the announcement in the Sunday Mirror to coincide with Pride month. Olympic hero Dame Kelly Holmes has come out as gay after a 34-year-silence.